Taking Precision Q+A personally

Vervago recently worked with a young CEO—we’ll call her Ramona—whose technology startup company had failed. We suggested that after the standard technology post mortems and business analyses were over, Ramona could benefit from an additional review, this one completely personal. We asked her to work her way through some of the slide decks that had provided foundations for key decisions, asking herself in relation to each: “What questions did I ask?” “What questions didn’t I ask?” “Was my style productive or counterproductive for getting the answers I needed?”

INSIGHTS INTO OURSELVES

Ramona was bravely undertaking a step in her own learning that many of us avoid: looking for root causes of the failure in her thinking, her habits, or her intellectual leadership style. Just a few reflective questions in relation to several major decisions allowed Ramona to see crucial lessons about herself—lessons she used to make her next business venture more successful.

Ramona told us: “My goal was to understand why I had asked the wrong questions, or in some cases I had asked the right questions in the wrong way.” What she saw about herself through this exercise yielded important insights, not about the business strategy but about Ramona as a leader. As Ramona put it: “This was a large failure, so I needed to make sure I learned large lessons. The best lessons turned out to be about myself. I am constantly using them in my new position.”

Though the workshop on Precision Questioning and Answering is focused on building skill, it touches upon so many deeper aspects of intellectual work that students sometimes gain surprising insights into themselves. Here are just a few comments we’ve received recently:

• “Until trying PQ+A, I didn’t know I was such a poor listener!”
• “When my partner started asking me questions about my proposal, I was shocked to discover how defensive I became. I hadn’t realized I could be so thin-skinned.”
• “In the workshop exercise I reverted back to my old habit of never acknowledging ‘I don’t know.’ This is going to be a challenge for me.”
• “I realized that I commonly voice questions of clarification that others think are too elementary to ask aloud. Now I see that as a strength rather than a weakness.”

As you can see, self-criticism isn’t the point of such reflection; the goal is self-knowledge. The more we know our own habits, tendencies, weaknesses, and strengths, the more we can adapt our use of complex skills like Precision Questioning and Answering to our personal styles and work domains.

INTERNALIZING THE PERSONAL INSIGHTS

Long after the Precision Q+A workshop is over, most people have a heightened awareness of questions and answers. But as Ramona’s story suggests, it can also be useful to systematically look deeper into ourselves to see how we are using PQ+A in ways that relate to our personal styles and patterns. The further we see into ourselves, the more successful we will be in focusing our effort.

Another student of PQ+A, Ryan, gave us a valuable example of how personal insights can fuel both personal change and skill development. Ryan said: “About a month ago I realized that in triage situations I accelerate my questioning and become very terse. I used to think this was a good way to show other people I was taking the situation seriously. What I now realize is that this style is fear-driven. In fact, my own fear seems to amplify the fear that others are feeling. Instead of focusing people, my terseness shuts them down.”

Ryan used this insight to develop new ways of working that helped him internalize the lessons and change the patterns. As he described it: “These days I’m making a conscious effort to slow down my pace and use a tone that is thoughtful and considerate, particularly in stressful situations. To alleviate my own fear, I’m also experimenting with taking slow, deep breaths. What’s interesting is that I can already see some changes in my working relationships since I became aware of this habit and started to shift it.”

Internalizing lessons that emerge from complex skills depends on sources of motivation that are deeply personal. When we find our personal motivations and draw on them, our learning begins to complement our aspirations. This happened for Ramona and Ryan when they began using steady reflection and self-knowledge in combination with Precision Q+A. Ramona and Ryan gained important lessons that moved them toward their best selves at work.

PRACTICE EXERCISES

Does your way of using questions and answers reflect who you aspire to become? This month’s practice has two parts that, when used together, will help ensure that your use of Precision Q+A is offering you targeted personal lessons and that you are using those lessons to grow into your best self at work.

PART 1

Look at the following list of insights that people have discussed with us, all of which relate to personal insights that emerge from seeing Precision Q+A at a deeper level. Choose the insight that resonates most with you, then take four minutes to brainstorm a written list of responses to it.

• Again and again in meetings I sit on perfectly good questions rather than voicing them. What’s going on?
• Even though I know that conciseness helps communication, I struggle to give shorter answers. What’s going on?
• Interacting with executives who do PQ+A is a challenge, yet for some reason I never take the time to practice before executive reviews. Where does this resistance come from?
• As a questioner I am very confident in some situations but not at all confident in others. What is the difference?
• I get impatient with people and talk over them. Why don’t I listen more closely?
• Even though I know PQ+A is useful, I still feel defensive when someone questions my work. What is happening?
• I ask all kinds of questions but rarely stop to see where we are headed as a group. How could I be more constructive in crafting conversations?

PART 2

Reviewing your brainstormed list of responses, identify and write down a mission or intention that captures your goals for using PQ+A at a personal level. Your mission or intention statement might sound something like the examples below. Post your intention where you will see it often during your work day and use it to guide your interactions.

• In meetings, I aspire to be a gentle but steady force for raising the level of candor by answering questions concisely and revealing what I don’t know.
• With colleagues, I aspire to be quicker and more assertive in my ability to ask precise questions that move our work forward.
• With my direct reports, I aspire to ask questions in ways that create a conversational tone and draw out their best thinking.

We’re here to help. If you have questions, comments or suggestions for future topics, email us at info@vervago.com.